Tired

I ever think of control my anger and keep remind myself do not care about what's wrong have they done. I wish I could closed my eyes and just let them play, make noise and turn the house up side down. Too bad, I could not. What should I do to stop myself get angry again? I want to show my love to them. I want to hug them always and I want to kiss them often. I do not want to be a mother only know to scold them and rottan them.